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Cost Cutting
Tuesday. 2.24.09 1:13 am
To: All Staff,

As you know, the realities of the downturn have hit home and I am forced
to introduce the following cost-cutting measures to help shore up our
beloved company. I know you will understand that the pain is temporary
and the gains will be there for all of us to reap when the company comes
through these difficult times stronger... and ready to ride the next big
wave. So with immediate effect, all staff will be required to adhere to
the following:

a. The cups on the two vending machines are to be recycled.
Annabelle has already sterialised them.

b. Sabbatical leave: Executives booked for New York will now go to
Kukup in Johor Bahru instead. Senior executives can go further - up to
Yong Peng.

c. Our chalet lease in Pulau Ubin has ended. However, as the
management takes a keen interest in staff welfare, we have arranged with
Francis (from Admin Dept) to rent out one of his rooms at Blk 923, Pasir
Ris Drive. His flat was chosen for its proximity to the sea and you can
still see Ubin from the window.

d. Entertainment claims: Staff will be required to go for a 30-min
demonstration by Raj from Finance Dept, who will show you how to withdraw
your credit card slowly from your wallet (58 secs), so that others at a
business lunch will inadvertently beat you to it when the bill comes.

e. The Valentine's Day white chocolates (Deluxeur) which I gave out
in January : Those of you who have yet to open the box, please return
them expiry date: Dec 2009)..

f. Monthly Best Employee Award : The $1000 cash award will now be
replaced by a box of Deluxeur white chocolates.

g. Annual Best Employee Award : The 14-day Disneyland/Hawaii tour
and solid gold Rolex Oyster watch will be replaced by TWO boxes of
Deluxeur white chocolates.

h. Medical: The Oxfordshire- Hopkins Medical Group will no more be on
our panel. Annabelle will give you the address of Hong Tong Hong Medical
Hall in Sungei Road. Bring you company pass for a 10% discount.

i. Country Club Memberships : Senior executives must return their
membership cards to Annabelle, who will then register your name with
Bishan Community Centre.

j.. Transport Allowance : No reduction of rate! However, it will be
paid on alternate months.

k. Gifts for clients : New choices. The Bohemian Crystal list will
be replaced by the one from 7-eleven.

l. Annual Dinner & Dance : No change (March 20, yay!), but the venue
is switched from The Ritz-Carlton to the void deck of Annabelle's flat in
Ang Mo Kio Avenue 10.

m. Bonus : This time, staff welfare comes first! Instead of the
usual amount, we raised it up to $2 million. Each employee will be given
a Singapore Sweep ticket. The draw is on March 5.

From: Chief Financial Officer
2 Comments.


Wait, is this real?
» randomjunk on 2009-02-24 11:30:47

luckily no. it isn;t lol
» merrick on 2009-02-28 01:49:18

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